Monday, February 17, 2020


Stop damaging your child with parental pressure and high ambitions
IFP Bureau | First Published: February 14, 2020 15:34:31 pm
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Parental pressure can be killing. Majority of students across the country, rich or poor, suffer from parental pressure to excel in studies and perform well in examinations. Only a student knows how tremendous the pressure is and how difficult it is to bear it. True, every parent wants their child or children to study hard and achieve brilliant results in exams. In pursuit of great dreams, most parents would do anything to send their child to the best schools and invest their hard-earned money and time to ensure the child gets the best educational needs. But little do they know that the pressure is damaging and killing their child.

The parents aim high and dream big about their children. In the process, they sometimes, comes down hard on them. They push their children too far. In some cases, parents want their children to live the formers’ unfulfilled dreams of holding high degrees or attaining high-ranking positions in different fields, particularly in medical, engineering and administration as in the case of most parts in India.

The pressure can be immense and unbearable for many young students, as the parental pressure gives no room for the young ones to grow up naturally or pursue their own passion and dreams. Hence, instead of helping their child, the parental pressure can cause irreparable damage to the child. There have been several instances of students committing suicide owing to failure in making their parents happy or due to poor marks or grades. The reports of suicide rates and school dropouts is high.

Why do parents go wrong? How do they falter when all they want is a good life? It is not only children but also parents who need learning and guidance. Parents do not know everything. And what we learned from our parents may not go down well with the children of today. According to the changing times, the scenarios are different. The needs are different. Existential requirements keep changing with times.

Here are five parental tips to avoid causing damage to school-going children.

1. Do not aim on behalf of your child

Often, parents want their child to become a doctor or an engineer or a famous person. They want the child to attain high marks and good grades in tests and exams. Aiming high put pressure on the child. There is nothing wrong in wanting the child to succeed in life. But the pressure can either make or break a child. Some kids can make it while some cannot tolerate the pressure and breaks down and suffer. In the process, some students develop inferiority complex and suffer depression and are unable to grow. The parental pressure often leaves a lifelong impact on the child.

2. Allow your child to pursue his or her passion and dreams

Put a stop to what you want, instead know your child well. Parents often want their child to be what they could not. Stop it. Focus on the child’s talents. Focus on his passion. Talk to your child and build a natural relationship with your child where the two of you can share freely. Figure out how well your child can fit into the world in the present scenario with his or her passion and dreams. Walk along with your child. Encourage him or her to pursue their dreams. Give them all the love and support they need to move on with their dreams.

3. No children are alike

Understand that every child is an individual and no children are alike. Understand their strength and weakness. Understanding and knowing their unique traits and nature and capabilities will help in nurturing them in the right way. Provide them the needed guidance in the fields best suited for their unique build-up. Every child, based on their unique nature will perform things in different manner. Allowing them to find their own methods of performing will help the child to achieve what they want and succeed in life.

4. Focus on your child’s happiness

It is your child’s happiness that matters to you as parents. Yes, indeed. Make your child happy by understanding his or her needs. Often parents pursue their own happiness through their children. Try to understand what would make your child happy. Only a happy child can be truly successful in life. The constant pressure to perform may push the child to resort to other means to please his or her parents. Under pressure to live up to their parents’ expectations, students suffer panic attacks, low self-esteem, depression, disillusionment and all types of weaknesses.

5. Engage your child in other activities

Apart from school time, tuition and homework or study time, help your child relax. Do not stress your child out. As much as you are bogged down by your duties and responsibilities, students go through all types of stress in their efforts to perform well in school. They are constantly facing peer pressure and under pressure to live up to the expectations of both teachers and parents. Be there for them. Know their minds. Take them out. Provide them fun time and fill their lives with colours of joy.

Parental guidance is important but parental pressure may not be the need of the hour anymore. Today, what a child needs may be all your love and attention. The love and complete attention you give to your child with uttermost wisdom may be all your child needs to live a happy and successful life in the real sense… and just listen to their hearts.

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